Fred Griffin: Real Estate Negotiations - The Difference Between Confidence and Arrogance

Real Estate Negotiations - The Difference Between Confidence and Arrogance

There is a distinct difference between Confidence and Arrogance when it comes to Real Estate Transactions.  Having an "Attitude" does nothing for your relationships with your fellow Realtors... and your Arrogant Attitude may cause your Buyers to have their Offer Rejected and lose out on their Dream House!


Real Estate Negotiations - The Difference Between Confidence and Arrogance

Our agents do a pretty hefty volume of business and we are all aware that different agents run their businesses differently as well.  Every single transaction has its own unique quirks and on the rare occasion, the flawless transaction is enjoyed by all...

Arrogant Charlotte NC real estate agentBeginning with the first phone call to ‘sum up’ the other party’s position in the, hopefully, upcoming transaction, it is fairly easy to tell how that particular transaction is going to go!  Regardless of the buying or selling parties in the transaction, agents have significant control in whether or not each sale will go smoothly.

Two recent transactions prompted this post and I’m writing in the hopes of this being read by agents who have a tendency to be a bit arrogant--or overly cocky, depending upon the agent.

The first scenario was a recent ‘hot’ listing that we were quite confident was priced right, in excellent condition and in a fabulous community.  The first agent phoned to ‘sum up’ our position and explained that she didn’t know all ‘that much’ about the neighborhood and had many questions with regards to the community.  Of course, I obliged and provided everything that I could to that agent--who was humble and very pleasant. 

Shortly thereafter, I received a call from another agent, exuding arrogance, that this same home was overpriced and that he knew that area “like no one else” (although he doesn’t live there and research showed that he hasn’t sold a property there in the last 5 years [I didn’t search beyond that!]).  He pressed me for my comparables to share with him, which I did, and requested that I get it to him ‘expeditiously’ as his client will be making an Offer--”but, nowhere NEAR the asking price!”  Despite his rude, arrogant behavior, I shared everything that he requested and graciously explained that this home will sell at or near full-price as my sellers priced their home in-line with market values, in fact, the low-end of the market value.

Sharing my conversations with my sellers, which agent do YOU think my sellers wanted to work with?  (This is NOT about me but, I do have to say that I, personally, hoped that we would working with agent #1 and was hopeful that her client was ultimately the buyer of this lovely home).  In the end, my clients didn’t even WANT to respond to agent #2 - his arrogance ultimately lost this fabulous buy for his buyers.  Agent #1 brought us a wonderful Offer and, yes, we landed at a number very near asking price and WELL above arrogant agent #2’s buyers’ Offer.

The second scenario is much the same, with the agent being a bit more passive-aggressive but, arrogant nonetheless.  That agent’s buyer did not win the bid on that home either....and all due to arrogance. 

There is a distinct difference in confidence and arrogance when it comes to real estate transactions--and life in general.  Sometimes it’s just a matter of saying, “Hey, do you mind sharing your comparables with me?  I’m having trouble aligning my pricing with the list price.”  I’m more than happy to share with those agents and I believe that other agents are more willing to share their information with me when I approach the situation with a little more finesse and tact.  The opposite, demanding, “I’m-better-than-you-are” attitude does nothing for your relationships with your peers, not to mention, many times costs your buyers a purchase. 

© Debe Maxwell | Savvy + Company Real Estate | | Real Estate Negotiations - The Difference Between Confidence and Arrogance

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Disclaimer:  Nothing in the above blog article is to be construed as legal advice, tax advice, or financial advice.  For legal advice see an attorney.   For tax advice or financial advice see a tax attorney, certified public accountant, or other qualified professional.


Comment balloon 4 commentsFred Griffin • May 12 2013 06:48PM


Fred, unfortunately the difference between confidence and arrogance is that one usually gets you an acceptance, and the seond usually gets you a counter.  I have seen it happen too many times.

Posted by Carolyn Kolba, Keller Williams Realty- Mentor, Ohio (Serving Mentor, and all of Lake County, Ohio) almost 5 years ago

Really good re-blog. The negotiation process can be really tricky. Handled correctly by the listing and selling agents can make the process easy or more difficult.

Make it a great week!

Posted by Joe Petrowsky, Your Mortgage Consultant for Life (Mortgage Consultant, Right Trac Financial Group, Inc. NMLS # 2709) almost 5 years ago

Hi Fred:

Thanks for the re-blog. It takes two tango. Both should know the rhythm although they don't share the same legs.


Posted by Maria Gilda Racelis, Home Ownership is w/in Reach. We Make it Happen! (Home Buyers Realty, LLC-Manchester, Bolton. Vernon,Ellington) almost 5 years ago

Thanks for the re-blog, Fred!  In both cases, the agent's arrogance DID lose their buyers the Contract.  So sad for the buyers--had they had the proper guidance and a 'confident' agent, they could both be living in their dream home.  I see that happen over and over again and I wonder how on earth the clients don't know that this is how their transaction is being handled.  If they only knew!!

Posted by Debe Maxwell, CRS, Charlotte Homes for Sale - Charlotte Neighborhoods ( | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310) almost 5 years ago